MR EVIL MAN

2012-02-04T20:57:00.002+08:00

行到水穷处
坐看云起时

2012-02-04T20:48:00.000+08:00

但曾相见便相知,
相见何如不见时,
安得与君相决绝,
免教生死作相思...

2012-02-04T12:22:00.001+08:00

突然之间，觉得自己老了许多。。。
关节疼痛开始找上我了。。。
颈项是旧患，不久就会复发。。。
可是近期，颈项的旧患开始严重了。。。
它以蔓延到我另一边了，动作开始不灵活了。
膝盖也渐渐的有酸痛的感觉了。
肩膀也是如此。。。
Hai。。。。我不认老也不行了。
只有27岁的年龄，却又80岁的身体。。。
常常让我感慨，岁月不饶人。。。。

2012-01-31T12:38:00.001+08:00

如果当你知道未来会发生不好的事在麽些人身上，比如死亡。。。
你还会跟他在一起吗？？
如果你只有十六年的幸福，而还来一辈子的痛苦，你能接受吗？
你还会跟他在一起吗？
是因为你很爱他还是你的理智阻止你的选择？？
你问我，我不知道。。。
因为选择在于自己在乎的是什么。。。
有话说的好，不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有。：）

2012-01-26T15:52:00.001+08:00

Recently the tension is getting higher and feeling like pulling myself out of the situation. But I can't .... Study can be fun and presentation can also be fun but the way these are been done, are getting on my nerve. Last minute work won't produce good work. Success is for those who are prepared . They are not prepared at all. The way they prepare if I'm the audience , I can hear through their speech, they lack of confidence in their work. But now what I can do is to control my temper. A successful presentation does not need a lots of stuff. All it need is the confidence that is inside you. The way u speak and how u interact with the audience. Yes by having video can help to enhance your presentation. But a last minute video will it help ?? This is a questionable thing. Hope tmr will be ok . I hope....
Asking u to stay back for meeting cannot.... Saying got something on later. U knows that study shld come first now. If just going out for fun or meet bf, is tht acceptable?? If a mother with kids can stay back for the meeting , why couldn't u??? All we need is a good 2 hrs of discussion and u will be free. But if u are going to bring in family problem and vent on other people, is itz fair for tht person??
Argument in the meeting is good and not pinning one person idea down during meeting.
I miss my other grp meeting. We had argument but after 2 hr, we got thing done and the presentation is well done. Hai..... Controlling controlling......

2012-01-24T01:10:00.002+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year!!!!

After so long of not blogging, i decided to blog it today.
Because is Chinese New year and is my birthday!!!!
Although got a lot of wishes from many people, even my mei oso and she ended up is the last one to wish me. :)
But there is one person i hope to hear from but didnt . NVM....
maybe she just dont want to know.... or maybe im not impt anymore.

Hope it will be a good year ahead for me:) Jia you!!!!

2012-01-02T13:31:00.003+08:00

Today is the day!!!!...

I had successfully sign up for sundown marathon 2012. see you guys on that day:)

And I had made some decision today. you know who you are. :X

2011-12-27T23:58:00.002+08:00

In a few days time, it's time to say goodbye to 2011 and welcome 2012
And now is time again to evaluate what i had done for the last one year.
So let's take a look of what i had in my wishlist for 2011:

Wishlist for 2011
1) leather bag (Gotten)
2) belt (Gotten)
3) leather hard wallet ( gotten):)
4) sunglass ( gotten it... hehe)
5) watch
6) special shirt or T- shirt
7) happy always
8) find my mrs right

So out of 8 wishes, i manage to achieve 4 of it. just pass. I know is not very good. so ... what ever i didnt achieve this year, i will work harder next year to get it. for pointer 8, i realised i have not been in relationship since the last one for nearly a year. So i will try harder to make the pointer 8 come true. I seriously had enough of singlehood le. I need someone to love me and i love her, pampered her and showered her with love. Will this year be the year??

But something good is that, this year, i got one gan mei mei from no way. haha... so is a blessing. To have her around when i need her. Thank you mei mei. Kor appreciate your present.:) so now i got 2 gan mei mei. hehe:)

So what do i want to have for 2012??hmmm
Here it goes....

Wishes for 2012:
1) watch
2) complete my advance diploma
3) special shirt or T-shirt
4) go for many good dates with my friends and my loved one
5) to loss weight and maintain it at 71 to 72 kg
6) ran 21km again with better timing
7) find my mrs right
8) learn sexaphone
9) be happy always
10) go travelling often. ( Be it short or long trip)

2011-12-04T00:40:00.003+08:00

Today i went to attend my ex colleague wedding

not like the normal hotel wedding, but a country club restaurant

something special, at least is presentable.

Listening to the songs that are been played, make me think ...

flashback coming back, the first dance we had, using the kenny G sexaphone song

and also, i just can't stop looking at you secretly.

Have i gone crazy?? have i really fang xia.... hai

2011-12-01T08:11:00.001+08:00

After receiving my bio test result, I start to feel the pinch. I'm not putting my best effort in my study. Is time for me to buck up!!! Wake up Andy goh!!! Shld be in full force ahead le.... Jia you bah Andy goh

2011-11-29T23:18:00.000+08:00

mentally tired... no mood for study!!!

2011-11-28T23:08:00.000+08:00

爱的时候，让她自由；
不爱的时候，让爱自由。
以在乎曾经拥有，
也在乎天长地久
别等不该等的人，
别伤不该伤的心。
有时，爱也是一种伤害。
残忍的人，选择伤害别人；
善良的人，选择伤害自己。
哭，并不代表我屈服。
退一步，并不象征我认输。
放手，并不代表我放弃。
正如我微笑，并不意味着我快乐。
只有放弃，没有忘记。
看的淡一点，伤就会少一点。
时间，让深的东西越来越深，
让浅的东西越来越浅。
我笑，全世界都跟着我笑。
我哭，全世界只有我一个人哭。
孤独，不一定不快乐。
得到，不一定能长久。
失去，不一定不再拥有。
爱上一个人的时候，总会有点害怕。
怕得到她，怕失去她。
我们真的要过了很久很久，
才能够明白，
自己真正怀念的，
到底是怎样的人，
怎样的事。
在对的时间，遇到对的人，
是一种幸福。
在对的时间，遇见错的人，
是一种悲伤。
在错的时间，遇见对的人，
是一声叹息。
在错的时间，遇见错的人，
是一种无奈。
雨停了，天还不蓝，
风还不静，那是因为它们在传递
我对你的思念!
如果有一天你接到无声电话，
那是我又再想你了，
没有言语，无声无息，
只为了让你感受到我的存在!
想你，我懂什么是心痛。
看你，我懂什么是幸福。
认识你，我懂什么是缘分。
如果水珠代表平安，
我送你整个海洋。
如果星星代表幸福，我送你整个星系。
如果蝴蝶代表念，
我会把自己变成一只小小的蝴蝶，
永远思念你!
如果能静心，我还是选择想你。
如果能按神，我还是继续想你。
如果能跳跃，那因为你就是你。
如果能永世，就因为只属于你。
想你，是一种简单的幸福，
因为，我实在有福能这样想你!
你的快乐，就是我自己最大的安慰，
我爱你，所以我放手，
虽然很痛很痛，我还是放手，
因为我要让你快乐，让你幸福。。。
没有和你一起到老，
是我一生最大的遗憾!
我爱你...

2011-11-18T20:13:00.002+08:00

Today i went for my orth appointment and guess what the doctor told me

In order to have a better quality of life, he suggest me to go for nerve block

And the funny thing is that, in the morning, i had a lecture on anesthesia which talk about nerve block too, such a concidental lor

and he told me that if i go for nerve block, i will at least have 1 year of numbless time

if not i will be going to regular Physio every 3 to 4 months when i had my numbness back

and i told my mum about this issue, and she told me don't go for it, coz she is worry that something bad might happen. Eg side effect, paralysis....

even though how i persuade her, she still won't listen, she is just too worry about me le

So for the time been,i shall just keep this option open till my appointment with the pain clinic which is quite far, in march and i just go for my phsyio

But for me, i would want to have a better quality of life....

Now let's talk about what happen in my school recently

first of all, my classmates are trying to help me match make girls in my class

i was like huh?? but i'm fine with that but just go with the flow

If really it will happen, it will happen that's what i believe

All i want is someone who can control me and i can care for them be it older or younger than me

To me, age is just a number but to some others, is a big issue

but the first thing is that, i allow them to control me, that is the most important thing

Than second thing is that, my classmates are calling me boss... like boss is coming, boss say one must listen.. blah blah blah....

that's funny lor, am i too bossy when im in class, i don't think so leh....

All i want is that you don't waste my time, i will keep things short... that's all....

Please don't let me break my no OT principle.... not even in school....

2011-11-15T23:52:00.002+08:00

每一次想你都感觉心痛...

I did something that I had been preventing myself from doing for the past 3months.

When i speak to you, i don't know how to face you.

Even though is just through msn but i still just can't face you.

no guilt but just a sense of sadness in it....

haiz...

2011-11-06T01:41:00.001+08:00

I'm waiting for my first flight ...
After 26 yr , this I my first time taking plane....
Mixed feeling now...
At least something good about it is tht I got a free upgrade from economic class to business class:)
Though is a short trip but time to see out of Singapore :)
Bon voyage!!!!!

2011-10-29T22:46:00.002+08:00

It has been quite sometime i haven touch my blog or my hardcopy one, because, im plain lazy. hehe

Quite a fair bit happen during my absent from here.

let's talk about sch first, im been arrowed to be the overall leader for 3 classes of 58 people. im also the leader of my group and my sub group... Crazy i know....

Than just to settle the admin stuff took them abt 1 week plus to settle. how efficient are we??

Follow by the stupid buying of textbooks, which like wasted my one and a half hour just to settle them due to the rest of the leaders so screwed up.

As for the study part, i realised that, the PPI and the research EBP all i had gone through during my curtin time, so i have to repeat them again,

To some of my classmates, these are stress, as the ICA presentation and assignment flooding in but to me, still managable, not stress yet... but i hope i won't. haha

Let's talk about some good things now, i still went out for movie after school. at least im still having a life ... :) meet up some of friends and colleague in between here and there. we have quite a fair bit to catch up.

And i also regularly meeting one of my friends to la kopi in the middle of the night. haha.. now we got 2 places to go, lao ti fang no 1 ( drink) or lao ti fang no 2 ( la kopi). will there be lao ti fang no 3?? hehe

Than now is the sad part, my that friend say only like 2 week never see you , you look rounder le.... i say where got.... sad lor... :( only 2 week of sch people start saying this to me... bad sign bad sign..... so is time for me to hit the swimming pool and gym at least 3 time per week. but hor, when i weigh myself today in the gym, i still maintain my weight before i come to sch leh... hmmm... water retention.... must be!!!!

now starting to do the ICA presentation stuff le, slowly slowly do, i don't know i must do it in my home than i got the feeling to do... you know de la... feeling ar... feeling... hehe...

Ok la, this should be it for now..... don't know when will be the next time i will blog le... bye....

星空

2011-10-26T21:41:00.002+08:00

摸不到的顏色是否叫彩虹?
看不到的擁抱是否叫做微風?
一個人想著一個人是否就叫寂寞?
命運偷走如果只留下結果時間偷走初衷只留下了苦衷
你來過然後你走後只留下星空
那一年我們望著星空有那麼多的燦爛的夢
以為快樂會永久像不變星空陪著我獵戶
天狼織女光年外沉默
回憶青春夢想何時偷偷隕落？
我愛過然後我沈默人海裡漂流
那一年我們望著星空未來的未來從沒想過
當故事失去美夢美夢失去線索而我們失去聯絡
這一片無言無語星空為什麼靜靜看我淚流
如果你在的時候會不會伸手擁抱我？
細數繁星閃爍細數此生奔波
原來所有所得所獲不如一夜的星空
空氣中的溫柔回憶你的笑容
彷彿只要伸手就能觸摸摸不到的顏色
是否叫彩虹看不到的擁抱
是否叫做微風一個人習慣一個人...
這一刻獨自望著星空從前的從前從沒變過
寂寞可以是忍受也可以是享受享受僅有的擁有
那一年我們望著星空有那麼多的燦爛的夢
至少回憶會永久像不變星空陪著我
最後只剩下星空像不變回憶陪著我...

2011-09-28T21:51:00.003+08:00

sometime, is good to be away from the crowd and just enjoy the scenary that is around us
and today that is what i did.... i went jogging around tampines with my mp3.
seeing things that is round me, feeling the wind going against me when i run.
and out of my surprise, my colleague, ssn yeo, saw me when i run pass the reservior
but i didn't know till i reach home , because i never bring my hp along.
i don't how long can i still run, cause my knee is giving me problem again.... im controlling my pain as i run. sometime, i got a feeling that i may break my knee when i run.... just kidding la...

yesterday, i went out with anna, jia en and chen lin for dinner, we also on the way celebrating for our new driver, anna, who had just pass her driving test in one attempt. nice one:)
THanks to her, we also got our treat of our drink at artery. I think it will be my chilling area soon. Not only that, i also got to know how to use the window movie maker too yesterday. so cool lor.... and im playing it today but i refused to save the things that i made, coz is some personal stuff that i think is not appropriate to do it. but i hope i can really make it and use it for future use, so now is just a dream bah.....

2011-09-21T20:59:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, I went to watch the Mayday3DNA with anna, and a few of my colleagues and their friend. This was the 2nd time i watch it already but i dun feel anything.
When i watched it for the first time, all the mixed feeling is gushing into me.
Yesterday i got to know that my colleague friend who is a guy, just broke up with his gf.
So when he watched that for the 3rd time, yesterday, all the feeling is also rushing into him
I can understand what is he feeling, because Mayday , they had the power to sing the words and feeling inside we guy that we won't show to others. Maybe is ego bah.

After that, we went to sing K till the shop close. Maybe is because not used to go K-ing with this group of colleagues so i don't really sing those songs i wanted to sing, which i think anna know what are the usual songs i will choose to sing. right??

A feeling that i should had forgotten and move on, but the fact is, have i forget and moved on??
I did saw sometimes things that i don't really want to see, but i had to pretend i didn't see. How fake I am?? Is going to be 1 year soon.... and inside me, i know the answer. i think leaving is the best choice bah. I really hope i will be normal again, and move on and hoping by than my heart is still working.. think i had to keep aside money for my drinking soon. i need something to calm my mind. There is still one more decision i need to make but im still pondering.... hope i can get an answer soon.

2011-09-02T23:09:00.001+08:00

i had make up my mind on some decision .

maybe it will be better not to do so.

if not things may get a bit complicated.

so i should just leave it like that bah.

2011-08-27T17:57:00.002+08:00

tonight will be the final showdown to decide our future president for singapore.

let 's see who will it be??

2011-08-09T20:27:00.002+08:00

I just finished watching the NDP on TV, the firework is amazing.

But let's put the fun aside, and look into the message that they are trying to get into us.

The Singapore spirit... how many people know what is singapore spirit??

There is a reason why they put the main focus on this theme.

This is because, this is the spirit that the 90' s babies are lacking....

It is not about just having fun and not to worry about the future.

This is the spirit that bond us together, and make us feel who we are....

Today my colleague from philippines asks what is majulah singapura means?

Than my singapore colleague who is the 90' s babies say i don't know....

It means forward singapore.... that is what i had learnt when im in primary school and i still can remember.

By knowing the past of our country, helps us cherish the present more and will want to fight for the future better.

Because we all know that we are striving for our future, a place call home.

A home that no other places will have. a home that we have to fight for, defend for and not destroying it on our own hands.

No one will fight for you, but you!!!!

So are the singaporeans out there, willing to take up the spirit and fight for it, and pass on to our next generation??

2011-07-20T16:07:00.002+08:00

today i just accidentally found the blog i didn't expect to see.

sad for myself but im happy for you as you are enjoying what you wants.

we had not been talking much even at work, not even of going break together, not even with your friend...

maybe it is a process to keep a distance bah.

a care that i should not be doing or showing.

let's just keep it this way and may sometime later , things will get better.

now i not updating this blog much as i found that, over here i got a lots of things i can't say

a blog that is not fully mine... a blog that i can't express my feeling fully...

so i decided, not really now, but i had started writing on journal quite sometime back.

A place where i had no worry who is reading, who will comment or judge me on what i write.

A place that only me and only me will know what i feel at that moment.

As time goes by, i guess here will be going to grow spiderweb soon...

2011-07-03T23:12:00.001+08:00

i just bought iphone 4. from a non 3G phone i change to a iphone 4. crazy lor me...

and the best part is i didn't know i can change my phone till my sister tell me that.. haha

so now im getting used to it. :)

2011-06-24T23:38:00.001+08:00

now i really understood what this song really mean after i heard it in english version.

by Janice - Never let you go

now the memories are going back again....

shit....

2011-06-10T21:18:00.002+08:00

Are the nurses in singapore getting bad to worse??

i got to hear my neighbour made a complaint to the MP regarding their father has been ill treated in CGH by removing the call bell from him for the whole day....

than the nursing home incident that happen yesterday....

Is that what we are doing nowadays??

Rather chatting with your colleagues and gossipping and not attending to the patients??

It just bring shame to us as a nurse...

2011-05-28T14:13:00.002+08:00

in another 6 hours, i will be running my first 21km run. excited and nervous....

a lots of thoughts running through my head now....

what if .... i faint after i run?? what if??

there is a lots of what if .... haiz....

need to stop thinking so much and head back to take my nap to have enough energy for later...

2011-05-24T23:16:00.002+08:00

you are the creator of your own destiny.

you are the one who choose what kind of life you want to live

you are the one who decide who you want to be.

so believe in yourself and move toward what you wanted the most

remember....

your destiny is in your hand

2011-05-19T00:14:00.000+08:00

他向她求婚时，只说了三个字“相信我”；

她为他生下第一个女儿的时候，他对她说“辛苦了”；

女儿出嫁那天，他搂着她的肩说“还有我”；

他收到她病危通知的那天，重复地对她说“我在这”；

她要走的那一刻，他亲吻她的额头轻声说“你等我”。

这一生，他没对她说过一次“我爱你”，但爱，从未离开过……

2011-05-08T10:13:00.000+08:00

如果你注意的话，我们的政府像三国时代的曹操
在乱世时，他是英雄，可是在静世时，他变成枭雄
以前的时候，他也是从反对党变化成政党
现在，别的反对党不满他的政策，而要反他。。。
我们的反对党就像刘备，被欺压的很久，
不满他的独裁，所以站出来反他。
我们的反对党会是刘备吗?? 会带领我们的人民去更好的领域吗??
这只有以他们的五年的时间来证明。
让我们去看吧。。。

2011-04-23T10:38:00.002+08:00

Is your choice, i respect it.

Maybe you just want to be away from me, keeping a distance.

I understand.

Yours 4th month of celebration is my 4th month of misery.

But i guess you won't see it.

Bye bye to facbook.

Bye bye to twitter.

Bye bye to blogspot.

Bye bye to pictures.

Bye bye to gifts.

But the only thing that is hard to say bye bye is memory.

but I guess i have to live with it.

2011-04-21T00:11:00.002+08:00

sometime, i feel like im thinking too much or maybe im not thinking deep enough...

it's all depend on my heart, which is the one i can't trust.

Trying to numb myself with assignment, study, online movie, games and gym , just to stop myself to stop anyhow thinking.

2011-04-11T23:40:00.001+08:00

有没有发现我不再打电话给你

有没有发现我不再发信息给你有没有发现当你FACEBOOK在线时，我不会再打扰你了

而且偶尔恶做剧的故意弹你视频这些都没有了吧

但并不代表我不爱你了

只是因为我发现了一件事

“你根本不需要我了！” 但你没说

所以我每天都做了很多傻事

拿起手机，翻出你的手机号码看了很久，苦笑

又把手机按回原点

我想打给你

却怕你又说出:“我现在很忙,等下打给你噢” 之后传来 “嘟嘟...”的声音。你不知道，电话这头的我有多失望

你说的等下，让我一直等

等到我都忘了你有多久没打电话来了

手机里总是储存着写好的信息，但一直没发出去

因为你不会回我的信息，但我却总会痴痴的等着你的信息

所以，便干脆不发，发了只会在自己的伤口上撒盐...

几乎天天挂着FACEBOOK，希望能遇见你，

看到你闪亮的头像，偶尔看见了

心里莫明的激动，但你却极少和我说话.

我忍不住，主动发过去，却没有回音。我微笑着掩饰心里的痛你微笑着蒙住我的双眼

孤独背后的心痛，或许你从不曾看到~

2011-04-11T00:23:00.001+08:00

沒有合適不合適，只有珍惜不珍惜，

能一起走一起進步是幸福的

2011-04-09T23:56:00.001+08:00

在家喝酒，只为了麻痹自己的思绪，自己的痛。。。。

身里的痛和心里的痛。。。

今天的我不是我，或者应该说最近的我不是我。。。

那曾经爱笑的我，已经不在了。。。

现在的我，有苦没人倾诉，只能往心里塞。。。

压抑了很久，有话不能说。。。

好痛苦。。。单单一瓶酒就能把我打倒。。。 hai。。。。

2011-04-05T15:34:00.002+08:00

i just now go and collect my first contact lens, wearing it now...

after so long, wearing spectacle, feel so weird... haha

but at least i going for what i target for this year. which is buy my sunglass.. hehe

and i bought it already... yahoo... 2nd target achieved... so happy... :)

hope i can get what i want to achieved by the end of the year... :)wahaha

2011-04-05T11:07:00.002+08:00

Don't be stuck on someone who has already moved on. Life is too short for that. Andy, please remember this!!!!

2011-04-04T21:42:00.000+08:00

Don't give up andy , I know you've been hurt...

but the feeling will soon pass, the tears will stop falling,

and your heart will heal itself.

2011-04-04T09:53:00.001+08:00

Sorry for whatever i have done. just let time heal the crack in me. ...

2011-04-03T14:15:00.005+08:00

Sometime i wish that i had never met you, because then I could go to sleep, not knowing there was someone like you out there. now everything is too late.

女孩問，男孩答（女孩子看完別哭)

2011-04-03T00:55:00.002+08:00

午後，慵懶的陽光灑落地面，縱長路上， 男孩騎車載著女孩.....[你會愛我多久？]

女孩緊抱著男孩，側著頭在他耳邊這樣甜甜的問， 她知道，這個問題沒有100分的答案。

帶著嬌嗔的輕笑，她說：「給你一個說甜言蜜語的機會。」

男孩卻認真的思考了起來。 趁著紅燈停止的機會，他舉起手比了個“一”要女孩猜猜他的答案是什麼。

女孩想了一想，快樂的說：「一輩子！」 男孩笑了，並不是因為她答對，而是感染了她的喜悅。

綠燈了，男孩不僅趨車面對現實， 也收斂起笑容，輕輕的告訴女孩：「我不會給這種答案的，這樣的答案好到不真實了， 像在說謊..再猜猜..」

女孩對男孩的說法很滿意，於是歪者頭繼續想..「一天？」 「呵呵，我們已經相戀兩個月了，一天、一星期、一個月這些都不成立喔！」

又是紅燈，男孩握住女孩的手，微笑的看著她， 女孩竊笑，大聲的說「不會是一瞬間吧？」

這個答案讓男孩差點笑倒在馬路上「當然不是啦！」

他一直深愛著女孩的幽默，深愛著女孩爽朗的笑容，這個答案讓他更緊握住女孩的手.... 「一年嗎？」

曾經有過一年時間等待的承諾，使得女孩對一年這個答案特別敏感。

男孩搖搖頭，他們之間已經不需要等待，隻剩時間的考驗....... 「一百年好了，愛我一百年就夠了。」

女孩說著，並表現著幸福的模樣。

男孩說「一百年太短了吧，不夠我愛你啊！」

甜言蜜語是男孩的專長，愛聽甜言蜜語卻是女孩的弱點....

女孩笑了，輕鈴的笑聲讓男孩闖了紅燈....

「想要聽答案了嗎？」男孩想說了………

而女孩想聽「我會愛你多久呢？」

男孩手比著一說：「一.......一直到你不再愛我的那一天.......」

女孩怔了……一直到你不再愛我的那一天......

2011-04-01T10:08:00.000+08:00

FUCKING ANDY!!!!! YOU BLOODY FUCKER … BETTER WAKE UP YOUR FUCKING IDEA!!!! WHY YOU SO STUPID???? GO AND PLACE YOUR UGLY FACE ON SOMEONE WHO FUCKING DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! IS ITZ WORTH YOUR WORRY AND TIME?? MUST WELL SPEND YOUR FUCKING TIME ON OTHERS WHO CARES ABOUT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU FUCKING PROMISE YOURSELF NOT TO GO INTO TRIANGLE RELATIONSHIP AGAIN!!!! AND SEE WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?? SOMEMORE THE OTHER FUCKING PARTY IS A CHI BAI BUTCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WORTH IT OR NOT?? FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! BETTER WAKE UP YOUR LANG JIAO IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-03-31T13:05:00.002+08:00

我发现当一个人的岁数渐渐地增加和环境的影响， 人的思想，想法和物质上的需要都会慢慢地成熟。 当你刚踏入社会工作时，你要的大多是好高务远的东西。 因为环境的影响，你所要的，和你所想的会慢慢的不一致。 你会慢慢的脚踏实地的追求你可以要的和你有能力要的。这就是人生。。。

2011-03-28T23:51:00.002+08:00

today i made a big decision that i should have done maybe a few week back. that is i submitted my self nomination form up to DNA . i been pondering where or should i go. but now , seem like i know what i want to go, so... wait for the outcome bah. whoever saw this from my ward, this few months, maybe the last few months with you all le. All the best to you all bah. :)

2011-03-27T05:20:00.001+08:00

can you let me go?? i hate this feeling of seeing the one i hate to see to be with you............

有一种思念叫不联系

2011-03-26T09:15:00.000+08:00

有时候，你很想念一个人 -
但你不会给他打电话 -
因为 -
打电话给他 -
对方冷冷的一句“喂” -
会让你不知说什么好 -
还是不打比较好 -
发个信息吧 -
好怕对方不回信息 -
要不~就算回了也就简短到让人心疼的一个“哦” -
-
打电话给久未谋面的知己 -
以前 -
你们什么都可以谈 -
现在 -
通电话了,只会谈一些无关紧要的事 -
那种感觉并不好。 -
此后 -
当你想她 -
你不会再打电话给她 -

2011-03-23T21:21:00.002+08:00

I was typing my CV for my study and one of the section is to talk about my nursing philosphy.
i was like hmmm... my nursing philosphy i nearly forget le lor... den i slowly recall why i join nursing in the first place. so here goes my nursing philosphy:

I believe that nurses are the most important in the healthcare setting. This is because without nurses, the healthcare system will not be able to function properly. When we nursed patients, we should treat them equally irregardless which class they are in. We should provide them the most appropriate care and to the best of our ability. We will not be in this line if all we want is money. This is because we care for people; we want to be there for them when they are sick and to accompany them for their last journey if they do not have any family.

Hope this will be always in my mind and heart. i hope.. if not my fire for nursing will be gone...

2011-03-20T22:01:00.001+08:00

我多恨自己轻易地放开你的手，
不想承认，你还出现在我的梦中，温暖地安慰着我
即使一秒中，我也很难承受。。。
以为我能承受，而且还能从容不迫
坚强的不是我，我只想要的是解脱，
只能假装好好过。。。。

(the reason why i like sun yan zi, is that she is able to sing my feeling out.)

2011-03-14T13:06:00.000+08:00

白色情人節快乐

2011-03-13T12:35:00.003+08:00

yesterday, i re- watched 'push' and i understand why she make her choice of who she wants.
she wanna to become a pusher and a mover because she want to protect herself and not she wants to control people.
As for me, i still keep my stand, i would like to be a mover and a watcher, because i want to know what others are thinking and still able to protect myself and not get bullied...

2011-03-06T23:45:00.002+08:00

i don't know why i bought that shampoo yesterday.
maybe is one of the ways to remember you....miss you...
now it feels like you are always by my side.
i have cleared most of the problem you have, just hoping everything for you will be going smoothly...
seeing you in pain , make me sad.... coz i can't do much for you.
now what i hope to do , is to see you tmr when i reach ward.
a small little hope to hold on for.

and i hope you will be there when my dad's birthday which is on the 20 march. but is just a hope... which i think will not happen.

2011-02-27T23:30:00.001+08:00

刚才在回家的路上，注意到地铁有个男孩在传简讯。
看他一边传简讯，一边在傻笑着。。。让我好怀念
因为我曾经也是这么的边傻笑边传简讯。。。
可是这个举动似乎离我好远好远。。。只因那个人已不是我的
那我有能做什么呢??
其实这几天我很高兴，因为我能和她一起去吃饭。
虽然只是短短的半小时的时间，却让我好高兴。。。:)
不值这样，能为她做点事，为她解决她的难处，
这让我会心一笑。。。希望这能持续下去。。。

2011-02-25T22:55:00.002+08:00

sometime watched romance movie makes me think a lot....
like would this happen to me?
all the flashback keep coming up on my mind....
and all i realised in the end is that, i still can't forget... haiz...

2011-02-25T15:35:00.000+08:00

i have successfully bake a bread by myself... im a genius... wahaha...

2011-02-20T22:56:00.000+08:00

一个优秀的人单身说明这人足够优秀，一个再优秀的人随意恋爱说明这人的优秀只是表面而已，真正希望对方好的，就是默默在背后关心对方。最好的承诺，不是爱你一万年，而是根本不需要承诺。

恋人不是靠寻找的，因为在没有完全了解对方之前，对方可以为了吸引你暂时改变自己，而一旦你完全了解对方后，分手就指日可待了。所以恋爱应该是日久生情，彼此非常熟知后自然地走在一起，甚至无需表白。不要认为对方人很好就轻易妥协，人好不是爱情的全部，你们必须为爱情的将来做打算。

虽然分手是另一段爱情的重新开始，但初恋只有一次，一个人在初恋中对爱情的向往是最多的，而一旦恋爱失败，以后的每一次恋爱中，最难忘的还是初恋。

所以，不是不想恋爱，而是，不想随便的恋爱！

2011-02-13T23:42:00.000+08:00

why i cannot enter my twitter?? argh... angry....

2011-02-12T05:23:00.001+08:00

OMG, i nearly go to work today, thinking im working morning shift...
lucky i see my roster again... phew....

2011-02-02T23:40:00.001+08:00

每一张照片，都述说着一个故事。
在不同的时候，派下当时的回忆。
拍出当时的喜怒哀乐，然人回味无穷
看了<大世界>后，让我意识到照片的重要。
当我们老去时，剩下的只有回忆。
而回忆都在照片里。。。
我会拍下很多的照片让这些照片述说我的回忆。

2011-01-24T22:09:00.002+08:00

Just read Holly Jean blog and got to know she had just break up with GB.
Sad for her but one thing i like what she said , is that "It's not a matter of patience, or "good things come with time".... it's a matter of the heart. "

If two people get together but the ultimate goal that they want in life (eg. marriage) is totally different, there is no point staying together in the relationship as the end result when the time comes, is break up or divorce.

One more thing i like and i totally agreed with what she said, is "When I think of marriage, I think of love. A happy, fulfiling and powerful kind of love. I think of giving (and in turn receiving) unparallelled comfort, happiness and such promise for the future together."

You has to feel right. In order to feel right, you not only need the right person , you also need to meet the right person at the right time. Like my exs, we may feel right in the beginning, but as time goes by, you will find out what we want in life is totally different. Like me , i want to settle down, whereas for them , settle down is not now. they want freedom, they want to have fun. If forcing to be together, we will end up no way but quarrel than break up. So what is the point of holding back and not letting go??

They maybe feel that they are still young, but for me, not like i'm so old like that, just that, i'm thinking further more. I don't believe in staying long in relationship, bcoz i have seen people end up break up or divorce after been together for 7 to 8 years. So time cannot be used to measure relationship.

Maybe i still finding the right person at the right time. And i don't know when will it be but I still believe in love. Perhaps more than ever.

2011-01-24T01:03:00.002+08:00

what a birthday i had.....

boring one and rotting one....

celebrate with my family and surprisely with the 2 neighbour auntie...

hate it to the max....

lucky got one of my friends chat with me on phone to pass the rest of my birthday

i really appreiate that.

expected the answer yesterday. so i not hoping much on it . if not i will be very disappointed.

2011-01-22T16:58:00.001+08:00

有时候哭泣不是因为难过

有一些东西错过了就一辈子错过了

人是会变的

守住一个不变的承诺却守不住一颗善变的心

有时候执着是一种负担、放弃是一种解脱...

人没有完美幸福没有一百分

知道自己没有能力一次拥有那么多

也没有权力要求那么多

否则苦了自己也为难了对方.

2011-01-21T23:09:00.000+08:00

水瓶座一生的真爱 3次

瓶子是在爱情里最强调感觉的
如果说毁掉一次真爱很容易
那么毁掉瓶子转瞬即逝的感觉则更容易
不过另一方面瓶子真的爱上一个人也很难
因此无论如何他们会尽力的将自己的爱情延长一些
好歹对得起那说不清道不明的爱的感觉
事不过三
三次真爱之说便由此而来
第一次为了感觉
第二次为了爱情
第三次为了人生
再往后就捏着鼻子
忍忍吧忍到忍无可忍为止

2011-01-20T22:57:00.000+08:00

看见没有笑容的你在跟我对话时，
感觉我们的距离好像好远好远。。。
你现在只有事的时候才会来找我，
不然的话，我们就像过路人。
曾经有人替我算过我的命，
我今年的生日会是一个人度过。
让她说中了。。。。
我只希望生日有人陪，难到怎么难吗?
惨!!!!!!

2011-01-15T22:25:00.002+08:00

世界上最遥远的距离，是你转身后，我眼泪坠落的轨迹。
望着你离开的背影，我告诉自己要坚强，不哭，是因为爱你，更是因为懂你。
我赢了所有人，却输掉了你。
最浪漫的情话，是当那个已经跟你分手了的情人打电话来问：“你好吗？”你稀松平常的回答：“我很好。”而其实你还爱着他，你一点也不好。
不停的写日记，我不知道停不住的究竟是笔，还是记忆
我唯一没有做好的事，就是说了“我爱你”。

2011-01-09T23:16:00.000+08:00

我不是不会错过，不是我愿意，是因为我爱你。。。
我不是不会生气，不是我没有脾气，而是因为我爱你。。。
我不是不会哭泣，不是我没有眼泪，而是因为是我爱你。。。
自从你离开我的那天起，你也带走了我的笑容，那发自内心的笑容。
我以找不回那以往的笑容了。。。你能帮我把她找回来吗??
我的心就像纸飞机一样。。。.
永远找不到真正的纸飞机场。。。

2011-01-08T23:52:00.002+08:00

after watching the" sex and the other drugs", it makes me feel one thing.
That is i miss her.... miss her very much...
i need her more than she needs me.... but what i can do, is to blog it over here only....
loser!!!!
And i realised that i never forget about her....
the more i try to forget her, the more i rmb her.... the place we go, what we do, the joy we had....
is getting even more clearer than ever....
even though i say to myself to let go... .but said is easier than done....
I will help her as much as possible wherever she needs it.... i just wanna to be there for her... as simple as that.

2011-01-03T23:16:00.001+08:00

宁缺勿滥

2011-01-03T22:22:00.002+08:00

ANDY GOH ANDY GOH!!!!!
TIME TO WAKE UP MAN....
FUCK YOU, YOU HAVE SPEND SOOOOO MUCH IN LIKE A FEW DAYS....
WAKE UP UR IDEA MAN....
CONTROL YOURSELF....
YOU ARE NOT DESPO....
FIND BACK YOURSELF.... YOUR OLD SELF....

2011-01-01T10:56:00.000+08:00

曾经有一段真挚的爱情摆放在我的面前，
我不懂得珍惜，只到失去了才来后悔。
在这成事间，莫过于此。。。
如果时间能让我从来一次，
我会勇敢的对那个女孩在说一次，我爱你

缘分是天定的，幸福是自己的

2011-01-01T03:45:00.000+08:00

记得从哪里看到了这句话：如果你不爱一个人，请放手，好让别人有机会爱她：如果你爱的人放弃了你，请放开自己，好让自己有机会爱别人。这话直白但很有道理，也从侧面教会了人们如何对待情感。

有的东西你再喜欢也不会属于你的，有的东西你再留恋也注定要放弃，爱是人生中一首永远也唱不完的歌。

人生中也许会经历许多种爱，但千万不要让爱成为一种伤害。生活中到处都存在缘分，缘聚缘散好像都是命中注定的事情。有些缘分一开始就注定的事情。有些缘分一开始就注定要失去，有些缘分是永远都不会有好结果。可是我却偏偏渴望创造一种奇迹。爱一个人不一定要拥有，但拥有一个人就一定要好好的去爱她。话说着容易，可一旦做时就很难，不信你试试。如果真诚是一种伤害，请选择谎言;；如果谎言是一种伤害，请选择沉默；如果沉默是一种伤害，请选择离开；如果爱是一种伤害，请不要靠近。可是好多情况下并不是如此，因为不由得你选择。

如果失去是苦，你怕不怕付出？如果痴迷是苦，你会不会选择结束？如果追求是苦，你会不会选择执迷不悟？如果分离是苦，你要向谁倾诉？好多事情是后来才看清楚，好多事情当时一点也不觉得苦，然而我已经找不到来时的路，有一种爱，明明是深爱，却表达不完美；有一种爱明知道要放弃，却不甘心就此离开；有一种爱，明知道是煎熬，却又躲不掉；有一种爱，明知道无前路，心却早已收不回来。

爱情不是游戏，因为我们玩不起它。爱是真心付出，要忘记真的做不到。不管归处将是哪里，我想都该在心底留有一份纯真的美好。从来没有对别人动心，突然发现自己深深爱上了你，那种滋味真是难以用言语表达；是喜悦? 是哀伤？你叫我忘记，难道爱是说收就收就可以收的吗？可以的话那就不叫爱了。也许我没有勇气面对现实的残酷。那么什么是勇气？是哭着要你爱我？还是哭这让你离开？估计此时没有一个正确的答案。

香烟爱上火柴，就注定被伤害。不要轻易说爱，许下的承诺是欠下的债，老鼠对猫说“我爱你”，猫说“你走开”，老鼠流泪走开了，谁也没有看到老鼠走后猫也流了一滴泪，其实有一种爱叫放弃。

如果你是我眼中的一滴泪，那我永远不会哭，因为我怕失去你。

一只风筝一辈子只会为一根线冒险，女人善变的脸，男人善变的心，叶子的离开是风的追求，还是树的不挽留，喜欢淡淡的爱，还是深深的喜欢？鱼说“看不到我的眼泪，因为我在水中”，水说“我能感觉到，因为你在我心中”，在爱的世界里，没有谁对不起谁，只有谁不珍惜谁。这个世界上有一种感情，虽然刻骨铭心，却只能擦肩而过，不管是如何爱过，不管是谁转过身，最终都会沉浸那忧伤的时间海，慢慢麻醉地守着曾经传过情话的电话，听不到它再响起的声音，无力再去拨通那个号码，总是看别人表演着甜蜜，总是在别人的爱情里留着自己的眼泪，而自己只是舞台上那没人注意的配角，用孤独去衬托别人的爱情，演出的都是别人的表情，终于明白爱情只是模特身上那件美的霓裳，穿在别人身上总是耀眼美丽，换到自己的身上就成了小丑的戏服。

都是寂寞在撒谎，爱不是缺了就找，不是累了就换；生活不是一个人的电影，是两个人在一起好好过，时间在窗外溜走，我们自己早已在时间中苍老，皱纹蔓延在心头，转过身去背对着爱情离开，把自己关在门里，把爱情关在门外......

只是这一转身，往往是永世的分离！！！

2010-12-31T17:01:00.002+08:00

today is the last day of 2010.... times really flies.....
Now im going to step into 2011 in like... hmmm..... 7hours more...
though in 2010, it brings me happiness and sadness... but i really hope my 2011 will be better
and to complete my wishlists and planned....
once i step into 2011.... it also means that my birthday going to come soon...
and how am i going to do on my birthday??
i dun noe... although i got my birthday off already, but no plan.
at first got the plan de, but my plan will not work coz the special one is not there anymore... sad...:(
maybe i just rot bah... haizz....

my resolution for 2011

2010-12-27T00:03:00.002+08:00

once again, a year has passed and a brand new year is coming ahead.
So is time for some reflection for my resolution this year and set myself a new resolution :)

This is what i write last year: (5/10)
1) get a girlfriend (had a few but things just dun work out well i guess)
2) get a sunglass for myself. (still haven buy myself a sunglass... FAILED!!!!)
3) get my degree (half way through already... jia you... ^^)
4) expose to more discipline ( did exposed to more discipline.. from REHAB to DIM count??)
5) green badge (MISSION COMPLETED)
6) no OT ( MISSION COMPLETED)
7) slim down to 70kg and get more muscular (Hmmm, still maintaining, muscle still there.. haha)
8) earn for my 6 digit in my account (HAIZ>>>> still at 5 digit)
9) go over to renal side to end my boring and slacking life in rehab ( Change of plan... dun wan to go to renal anymore.... DEM or ICU^^)
10) got out for more dates.... (had plentiful good dates with gals and friends... )

As for 2011 resolution.....
1) Get a same thinking frequency girl as a girlfriend
2) Getting a sunglass by chines new year
3) NO OT
4) Finish my degree and smell 250 dollar more every month in my account
5) Have more good dates with my friends
6) To complete my 21km marathon
7) Be out of w64 and expose to DEM or ICU
8) have at least 5 trade in my stock exchange to earn big buck
9) maintain my weight (72kg) or slim down to 70 kg by year end and continue to make my muscle bigger.. .:P
10) to go out of singapore with friends or girlfriend for tour or backpack alone.

被逼出来的成熟

2010-12-25T19:01:00.000+08:00

哭的时候没人哄，我学会了坚强；
怕的时候没人陪，我学会了勇敢；
烦的时候没人问，我学会了承受；
累的时候没人可以依靠，我学会了自立......

就这样我找到了自己，
原来我很优秀，更可贵的是，世界上，
我只有一个，只有一个我！

渐渐地，我成熟了，
知道了人是被逼出来的，
只有压力才有动力，因为没有更大的不如意，
所以现在的不如意也是幸福的！

想要成蝶的蛹就要破茧，
想要重生的凤凰就要蘖磐，
就要坚强，即使独自悲伤，
也不要去乞求怜悯
嗟来的是廉价的，赶上的是便宜的，
在追求美好的同时不要失去自我，要始终做我自己，
只有自己才拥有自己全部的风格，谁也模仿不了，真实的你没有盗版！

相信自己可以撑起属于自己的那片蓝天~是马就应去驰骋草原，
是鹰就该去翱翔天宇，而我只需要做好我自己！
生活所迫又怎样，环境不好又怎样，困难大又怎样，这一切都需要你自己去打拼！
拼不出来就找个地盘老实呆着！

这社会谁会可怜你啊！
谁不是从挨打过来的，谁不是从孙子混过来的吖。
不能主宰别人就管好自己，给自己个机会去重生，
被逼出来的你才是蜕变的英雄，把握好这个机会，去展示全新的自己，
我永远都相信“爱拼才会赢”

爱上等于哀伤，宁可高傲的发霉，也不低调的凑合。
无聊时看看书，孤独时找个最好的朋友聊聊，
多疼疼自己，健康是一切的本钱。
不要过分去强求不属于自己的东西，
因为那样毫无意义，潇洒的放下该放下的，
去活出自己的精彩！

2010-12-24T00:12:00.001+08:00

穿着婚纱的女人最美的。。。
下一个转角一定会有幸福
辛苦过后幸福就会来的
爱情不能用金钱来衡量。。。
爱情是没有折扣的。。。
当一个人送你苹果，是代表希望你平安，健康。
当你喜欢一个人的时候，你会为她买意外保险。。。
只为了希望她安全。
虽然我们认识的时间不是很久，
但是好像彼此之间认识很久很久。
而你是最了解我的，是天意吗??
要等到失去了，才知道你的好。。。
是我笨还是我蠢。。。

2010-12-20T23:19:00.000+08:00

有一种感情叫无缘,有一种放弃叫成全

2010-12-19T23:43:00.002+08:00

爱情曾经来过。。。爱情也曾经走过。。。
当两个人在一起时，但在错的时候，是种悲哀。
当在对的时候但却和不对的人在一起，是种惋惜。
人生会有多少的等待，等待着对的人。。。
当一个人是时针，而另一个人是分针。。。
有偶然的交汇，却在不同的步伐行走着。。。
什么时候才会为彼此停下脚步呢??

2010-12-13T13:55:00.002+08:00

2010-12-10T23:16:00.000+08:00

今天虽然能看到你，可是我却假意不理你，
我只是偷偷的远远的看着你。
当你需要帮忙时，我默默地帮你解决难题。
而且今天我们的距离，好比当时恋爱的距离。
我轻轻的触摸你的小手，感觉你的冰冷的手，
让我想给你温暖。。。
我把我的手慢慢地放在你的腿上，帮你扶着病人的手让你抽血。
那感觉是我曾经拥有的。。。好想让时间停住，可是不能。
我不知道那时你在想什么。。。因为你让我猜不透你。
看见你那喜悦的样子是我好久好久没看到的了。。。
让我会心一笑。。。
只希望你天天开心，天天快乐。。。我就满足了

2010-12-04T01:07:00.000+08:00

一种越来越陌生的感觉。。。
一种越来越不知道你的想法。。。
一种离你越来越远的距离。。。
越来越看不清你是谁。。。。
让我越来越讨厌自己。。。
让我自己死心。。。再一次封闭自己。。。

2010-12-02T22:38:00.000+08:00

Finally break the news to my mother....
sad but have to.... no choice... :(

2010-12-01T08:58:00.002+08:00

happy anniversay.... although our day falls on the 31st....
the happy and sad memories filled within me....
now.... today.... i will be alone... without u by my side....
but i will always remember tht day i proposed to u to be my gf....
you are the first one who i proposed....
i will always keep this in my heart....

2010-11-29T15:28:00.002+08:00

Committment is something i last time hate to touch.... and fear to touch....
bcoz i know i won't dare to commit.... especially in a relationship....
tht's y i refused to get into relationship in the past... though i carry a torch on someone before...
but now.... is different.... im more financially stable and find myself ready to commit....
but finding someone who wanted to commit is difficult now for me....

they fear of commitment .... bcoz they don't know how much they can bear....
they want freedom.... bcoz they don't want to be chained up.....don't want to be controlled.... they want to be themselves....
all these i been through before..... the fear... the freedom.... all i used to had it ....

what makes me want to commit.... is bcoz i don't want in the future.... when im old... or when im still single and staying alone, like my uncle.... had no one to talk to whether is happy or sad thing .... going home facing 4 walls ... making the home like a jail.... making myself kuku....
thinking of these.... make me fear more.... the freedom tht i last time wanted, doesn't exist anymore... loneliness sets in more....

you may say i still got friends... i won't be alone... but think again... after night falls, your friends also have a home to go back to ... they still have their family.... utilmately, when you are back home... you are still alone... alone facing the 4 walls.... loneliness will set in.... which is more fearful.... freedom?? or loneliness??

Can you imagine.... when you are old.... having ur spouse by your side... listening to your old grandmother stories .... listen to your rattering.... it will be the nicest thing to have..... you may say i crazy..... but trust me.... you won't regret to have her around ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VwuAWnACS8&feature=related
who on earth will listen to your grandmother stories.... rattering??? not your children... not your friends.... but your spouse.... bcoz she had been thru with you all the grandmother stories together with you ... she is the best soul mate to have....

if you realise around us.... when you see those old couples who saw their partner left them to live in heaven.... they will follow suit soon after them.... bcoz they also fear to be alone.... and that is the time when you really see true love in them.... the love for each other.... not by giving flowers.... not by presents.... but thru their action..... dying with them..... though their children maybe double sad bcoz both of their parents pass away one after another.... but think back.... won't that be better for them.... at least they won't be alone....

i don't know how long i will recover from this setback.... but 1 thing for sure.... i won't give up.... she may be a " ," in my life chapter.... though i thought she is my full stop..... but i won't give up searching for my life partner....
people may think im flirting around.... see one love one..... but seriously..... they don't know me....
im just looking for my life partner..... searching without trying is equal to nothing...... no pain .... no earn..... i will earn for my life partner.... no matter where you are.....

我猜不透爱情，更猜不透妳。

2010-11-28T00:37:00.000+08:00

有时候觉得，我真的不是很懂妳，
总以为在一起久了对你了解就深了，
但感觉在一起越久感觉就越陌生，
两颗心的距离似乎正在慢慢地疏远了...

不懂你为什么可以对我沉默那么久，
不懂你为什么什么事情都藏在心底，
不懂你为什么老是对我有那么多的隐瞒，
我不懂是我自己想得太多太多，
还是你本来就是这样的一个模样...

两个人在一起后比没在一起前更陌生，
少了欢笑，少了彼此的心声，
或许我们真的只适合当最好的朋友吧？
角色换了，两个人的心情也不一样了，
曾经我可以向你述说我的心中的难题，
但现在我心中最大的难题却又是你，
该向你述说还是该藏在心底，我不知道，
但我却知道，我们再也回不到从前了...

我们不再无话不说，因为曾经太了解彼此，
我们都选择沉默，因为我们都太在乎彼此，
不开口是因为我们彼此对对方的体谅，
明明两个人就很像牵着彼此的手一起到老，
但现实却毫不留情地告诉了我们，
我们只适合在彼此受伤时，才能出现,
我们可以相识相处到老，却不能相爱到老...

如果我们在一起给了你压力，我会选择离开，
但我希望，离开你的身边后，我还是你的知己，
你可以不用借我你的肩旁，但希望你能好好陪我聊，
你可以说我们真的不适合，却别说你从没爱过我，
我在乎的是天长地久，如果不能，我也会珍惜眼前的曾经拥有，
至少我是你一辈子的朋友，也是你一阵子的情人，
不后悔认识了你，然后爱上了你，
后悔的是我们不能一起走到最后，
我了解你，我知道你，却不能和你在一起，
因为我猜不透爱情，更猜不透你...

2010-11-27T19:10:00.002+08:00

It seem like my mum know what is happening.....even if i did not tell her...
if not she won't be asking recently so frequently... where is your gf??
so long never see her le....
i always just say.... she is busy.... she got dance.... she going out....
but i don't know how long this will last till the truth is out....
i think she noticed that im very moody recently.... isolating myself most of the time...
but she just don't want to ask me directly....
i just let it be for the time been....
hope she will read it....

2010-11-27T00:28:00.000+08:00

因为在乎，所以害怕，
因为害怕，所以没有安全感。
有时候，不是一个你爱的人变了，而是你变得在乎了。
有时候，不是他/她给你的关心太少，而是你要的关心太多了...

2010-11-26T02:08:00.000+08:00

常在人面前
很开朗
很活泼
但这一切都是“坚强”在支撑着

每当负荷不了
只有抱头痛哭
永远都不想让人看见这脆弱的一面
觉得让人看见是世上
最可悲，最愚蠢，的行为
更不想因此博取他人那低俗的同情！

每回受到委屈
默不吭声
不敢说说不出口
苦水往往都是倒流进肚里

泛滥的苦水
有谁？
会懂？有谁会明白？
有！常常有人总这样对我说……
我懂！我懂！
但真正了解的有多少人？

不愿意敞开心房
不愿意让人了解
不愿意让人看到
脆弱，可悲........的一面
不愿意.......不愿意

信任呢?
别提！
信任人只是在给人机会伤害你
用着我的信任
用着我的泪水
摧残我
摧残我的信任，我的坚强...

2010-11-24T16:32:00.004+08:00

going through my profile and i realised that this is the song that will make me cry....

2010-11-23T23:20:00.001+08:00

多谢我的朋友点省我。。。
在这感情里，我忽略了我的朋友。。。。
在一段感情里，男女的关系是很脆弱的。。。
之间我忘了有我的朋友。。。
当分手了，那种关系也逐渐消失了。。。
曾经说过的海誓山盟。。。都是骗人的。。。
友情才是真实的。。。。
我在也不会对任何人说海誓山盟或是甜言蜜语的话了。。。
因为这是世界上最大的谎话。。。。
给我以后的女友。。。我不会花言巧语的哄你。。。。
我也不会对你说海誓山盟的话语。。。
我只会用冷言冷语的对待你。。。。
因为我已经受够了。。。

My story

2010-11-23T15:08:00.003+08:00

Long long time ago.... there was a boy who was born in 1985.....
weaning and crying to let the whole world knows that he is here.....
He was born in a very simple family with nothing but love from the family....
and during his K1 life, this boy did something bad for the very first time, which is pee in the lift....
not once.... but many times.... till someone caught him and warned him not to do tht
However, this doesn't stop him from doing this, he just shifted to pee in the drain instead of the lift.
Not only that, during that year of K1 life, he first time got angry with the teacher and he don't dare to speak up.... guess what he do..... he used his knuckle to rub against the wall till it bled....
how stupid is he.....
at the age of 6, he accidentally saw his parents mating.... and from than on, he is curious what are they doing.... and the worst thing happen.... he manage to persuade his cousins to do handy panky .... with storyline....
thanks god that nothing happen, because he don't know what is mating and how to go about it....
and from than on.... this small little guy is never clean again....

story to be continue....

2010-11-23T08:55:00.002+08:00

now im wondering whether should i hang on or what??
coz recently a lot of things happening around me and they make me think...
work?? relationship??
work im hitting a point of staganant stage that make me wan to move on...
relationship makes me feel that im just placing my hot face on a cold butt....

Now i shall not be MR yes man anymore.... i dun see the point of saying yes to people....
From now on, i shall be MR EVIL MAN.... no more Mr nice guy.... no more...

2010-11-19T18:13:00.002+08:00

today i just got to know from one of the doctors after i ask a favour from her to check my MRI result....
den i realise after she explained to me that i'm having degeneration over my cervical ( C6 - 7).
and is quite a bad one for my age now....
athough i dun noe how to read the scan... but from i what i see is wao.... bad...
can really see my cervical is so close to each other....

now what are the option for me?? medicines??( which im taking now... but seem like is not working), surgery??... or others???

bless me bah.... haiz...

2010-11-17T00:32:00.001+08:00

a memory i will never forget......
it's going to stay in me till my last breathe....which maybe soon.... i dun noe
Thank you for loving me.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JVUaHJcZp4

2010-11-16T01:37:00.000+08:00

我在一次在感情受到伤害。。。心如刀割。。。
我也在一次拿起酒杯往肚子里塞。。。。
心碎。。。。心痛。。。。
我竟然说出分手，只为了给她思考她的选择。。。
我在一次觉得自己是个感情的失败者。。。。
无能。。。。 haiz。。。。
眼泪强忍着不要让它流下。。。。

2010-11-15T22:27:00.000+08:00

这些日子，我一点也不开心。。。。
自从听你说了那些话以后，
每天都是强颜欢笑来掩饰我的忧伤。。。
而且我一直在压抑着我内心的痛。。。。
每当我一个人时，或是夜深人静时，
那种莫名奇妙的感觉一直不断的来袭。。。
让我好想哭。。。好想哭。。。。
只因我太在乎你了。。。
只因我太怕失去你。。。

2010-11-14T09:19:00.001+08:00

going to MRI later alone....
worry, scared..... but no one to attend to
now i can understand how my pt felt when i push them to MRI like tht....

2010-11-13T23:33:00.000+08:00

短短的一天里，我写了两则blog，
父母无形的压力，有时让我喘不过气。。。
尤其是今天。。。发现妈妈从香港买了结婚的进茶的器具
和她今天说的话，让我不知所措。。。
这可以看出她多么希望我早日结婚。。。
这让我很有压迫感。。。。

2010-11-13T17:23:00.001+08:00

爱一个人能为她付出一切。。。
而这次，我不会放弃。。。
谢谢你能对我坦白。。。
虽然心好痛，也不知道要怎么面对。。。
所以为了你我又开始了喝烈酒。。。
只因我太爱你了。。。
是你让我心烦，是你让我忧愁。。。
是你让我发现我的存在。。。
如果可以的话，我想为你而活。。。
我是个不善于表达的人，所以选择在这里说出我的心声
希望你明白

2010-11-12T22:15:00.000+08:00

在这世界上。。。没有公平这件事，尤其是在感情这回事
两个人的感情不只是等于两个人的事。。。而是两家的事
想做自己喜欢的事但又怕家人反对，怕他们不高兴。。。
所以只能压抑自己的心情，去做自己心里相反的事。。。
我曾经也想过不理会家人的感受，想作自己想做的事，
但结果我没有。。。因为我背着家的隐形的负担。。。
一个不能说放下就放下的负担。。。
因为它拥有了父母的爱，家的凝聚力和家的责任。。。
一旦我选择放下，我将对不起父母的养育之恩，
而且会伤了父母的心。。。
也因为我的确定，可能会导致家变。。。而这是我不想看到的事
而且责任是我无法摆脱的。。。
我就是不想为了我的一时的自私的决定。。。而导致我一辈子的遗憾
所以我选择了放弃。。。

2010-11-10T00:06:00.000+08:00

家人不在的第一天。。。面对家里的四道墙。。。
好空虚。。。好寂寞。。。
我讨厌这种感觉。。。。好像全世界剩我一人。。。
没人陪伴。。。没人说话。。。
我是一个希望有人陪伴的一个人。。。不喜欢一个人的时候
希望你能了解。。。希望你能谅解

2010-11-07T23:04:00.002+08:00

Days for alonliness is coming soon.... equal to home alone....
the fear of staying at home alone makes me freak out.....
hope i can survive thru....